


With Blood on Our Hands

by golden_redhead



Series: Saioumota Week 2018 [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Blood, Character Study, Implied Relationships, Kinda?, M/M, Saioumota week 2018, Virtual Reality, because I wanted to explore the way Ouma is treated in the game, prompt: blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_redhead/pseuds/golden_redhead
Summary: Shuichi learns that he doesn’t solve the mystery that is Kokichi Ouma by counting his lies, but rather by revealing his truths.





	With Blood on Our Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for @asteril for beta reading it!

The first time Shuichi sees Kokichi bleeding he feels rage bubbling in his chest as the words “It’s a lie!” still echo in his mind and his heart keeps beating wildly in the confine of his chest. Kokichi stands right before his eyes, blood slowly dripping down his face, staining the pale skin with a trail of pink. He’s all smiles and pranks, just like he always is and Shuichi feels sick, feels disgusted with this boy who has no sense of tact or decency. Two of their friends had just been  killed, one of them right before their eyes and yet here he is, Kokichi Ouma, wide smile stretched across his face as he puts his arms behind his head nonchalantly and doesn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest by the blood slowly pooling under his feet and sticking to his eyelashes. 

 

After the initial shock his rage subdudes a little and soon enough Shuichi slips into the role of a detective once more. He has a mystery to solve, a trial to survive; he has no time to worry about Kokichi Ouma and his silly pranks and disrespect to the dead. And if Kokichi keeps away from him - that’s fine with him. For once in his life Shuichi actually feels accepted, actually feels needed and even if the irony of the situation --- killing game and all --- doesn’t elude him, he wants to have it, if only for a split second. The memory of Kaede’s smile still stings, but there’s also gives him hope. Kaito’s hand feels warm and firm when it lands on his shoulder in a gesture of support and sympathy. And sure, the murderous glint in Maki’s eyes is still a little scary, filling him with an uneasy feeling, but he’s also seen her softer side, the side that she normally hides behind threats and cold, disinterested stares. He’s never felt like that, he’s never felt like he actually matters, like what he says might have some importance to others and despite the morbid circumstances he can’t help but be glad that he got this chance to get to know them all, to feel this type of closeness that derives from genuine friendship. 

 

And so he forgets about Kokichi Ouma and his bloodstained face, because why would he remember some silly prank when there are so many more important things happening all around him. And even if he notices the way Kokichi wobbles when his feet carry him to the trial grounds, it just shows how dedicated he is to this little joke… right?

 

The next time Shuichi sees Kokichi bleeding it’s when a big kitchen knife pierces right through his finger and this time Shuichi can’t quite stop the gasp that escapes his lips at the sight. He jumps to his feet to find the first aid kit, clumsily tending to the smaller boy’s wound. But Kokichi himself doesn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest by the blood oozing from his hand, cheeky smile plastered on his face as he laughs and laughs and laughs, he just keeps laughing the whole time. And all Shuichi can feel is confusion and the familiar pang of rage somewhere in his chest. This is not how anyone should react to something like that. Is this boy before him insane? Is this another cruel, elaborate prank? The more Shuichi struggles trying to understand the mystery that is Kokichi Ouma, the more he certain he is that he’s only more lost and confused than he was at the beginning. Every trial, every lie, every prank makes him feel like it’s all for nothing, like he’ll never be able to understand what is going on in Kokichi’s head. The Supreme Leader defies all sound logic and Shuichi just can’t figure him out.

 

By the end of the fourth trial he doesn’t even want to.

 

And then there’s not much left of Kokichi other than blood splattered on the walls of the exisal hangar.

  
  


-

  
  


Kaito quickly gets used to the sight of blood. Be it at seeing the body discoveries or executions, which get progressively more bloody, or during the times when he runs to the nearest bathroom and watches as the crystal clear water in the sink turns pink as he spits and retches. Every attack leaves him weaker, hands trembling when he grips the edges of the sink and tries to gather enough strength to rise his head and look into the eyes reflected in the mirror. What he doesn’t expect is the sight of another pair of eyes, lilac and open wide, staring at him from the door to the male bathroom. He whips around, heart pounding loudly in his chest and stands face to face with Kokichi Ouma. Surprise flashes through the other boy’s features and disappears almost as soon as it appeared. Kaito opens his mouth to come up with an excuse, to yell, but before he has a chance - blood is spilling from his mouth again and both of his hands fly to his chin in a desperate try to keep it from staining his clothes. He turns back to the sink and vomits blood, pink and thick liquid dripping down his chin. 

 

When he can finally breathe again Kaito rises his head high enough to send Kokichi a tired glance in the mirror. The other boy responds with a stare of his own, any trace of emotion drained of his face. They stand like that for the longest time, silence spreading between them, disrupted only by Kaito’s harsh, laboured breathing. And then something in Kokichi’s expression changes and a smile forms on his lips. He squints his eyes slightly and rises his finger to press it vertically to his lips. A silent promise to keep his secret a secret between them. Kaito’s eyes widen in disbelief, because this is Kokichi Ouma and the Kokichi Ouma that he knows would never do something like that--Maki is the best proof of that. But before he can voice any kind of protest Kokichi already turns around and skips away, too fast for Kaito’s legs to follow in his weakened state. 

 

He doesn’t notice a thin trail of pink on Kokichi’s forehead, too absorbed with his own bloody hands. 

 

And then the whole hangar mess happens and there’s blood everywhere, his and Kokichi’s mingling into one. He grits his teeth as pain shoots through his arm in the place where poisoned arrow was stuck not so long ago. Even though the antidote is spreading through his veins and he doesn’t feel quite as bad as he did before there’s still a wound that should be treated. He doesn’t have that kind of luxury though, and neither does Kokichi, poison wracking his small body and blood oozing from where the arrows pierced his skin. He slowly drags Kokichi’s body on the floor, all the way to the hydraulic press. There’s a bloody path where Kokichi has been dragged and Kaito feels a sick bile rising in his throat, burning and leaving a metallic taste in his mouth. 

 

And then sooner than he would have liked, the moment of truth arrives and he carries Kokichi’s weak, feverish form to the hydraulic press. He puts him with care on top of his coat and tries to not think of how Kokichi is burning, how glassy his eyes have became. He tries to not think of what he has to do and what will happen after. Kokichi sends him a bloody smile from where he’s lying on his deathbed, teeth smeared with bright pink. Kaito wishes that he would do something to prevent this fate, but it’s too late, they’ve gone too far. He eyes the wound on Kokichi’s right arm, blood still seeping from it slowly. Some irrational part of him wants to reach out to his own shirt and tear off a piece of it to make a makeshift bandage to stop the bleeding, but it doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter anymore because five minutes from now it will be only blood, blood everywhere and a crushed unrecognizable under the press. 

 

And then Kaito watches --- he can’t quite look away --- as blood flies in every direction, landing on the tiles, on the steps to the controls, on his own face. 

  
  


-

  
  


Things are different now.

 

Something as little as a papercut is enough to send Shuichi into a state of worried determination. He dabs a soaked-in-alcohol swab against the cut, his hand grasped around Kokichi’s wrist tightly as the other boy tries to squirm away, unused to this kind of attention. They never talk about it, but Shuichi knows that Kokichi knows. He knows that Kokichi can see the guilt written all over his face, visible in the wrinkles of his forehead when he frowns and lifts Kokichi’s hand closer to take a good look at the cut. Kokichi never mentions it, instead letting Shuichi know that it’s alright through little jokes and a quick peck against Shuichi’s nose moments before he dashes away as soon as Shuichi’s grasp on his hand loosens. Shuichi appreciates his understanding, even if he knows that he doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes his hands would brush against the smaller boy’s forehead, right where the wound must have been and stares, stares long enough to make Kokichi restless, to make him reach out his hand and gently take Shuichi’s in his, face carefully wiped from emotions. Shuichi’s therapist calls it the survivor’s guilt, but he knows that it’s more than that, he knows that it doesn’t have as much to do with him being a survivor as with the fact that there’s a chance --- however small --- that he sparked the chain of events that led to the blood pooling on the cold tiles of the exisal hangar. It’s an unpleasant thought, one that he would rather bury at the bottom of his mind, but it’s also a one that sparks with truth.

 

Shuichi learns that he doesn’t solve the mystery that is Kokichi Ouma by counting his lies, but rather by revealing his truths. 

 

And one of the truths is that --- as ironic as it is, considering the nature of their in-game relationship --- it was Kaito who got closer than anyone to see the true face of Kokichi Ouma, his blood spilling on his hands, staining them with ugly shade of pink. 

 

The memory of blood is one of the most persistent ones. After all, it wouldn’t be a killing game without it. It shows in the smallest of gestures, even if most of the time they fall into the routine of normal lives, trying to leave those old memories behind them and slam the door on that chapter of their lives. But it’s a memory that stays forever fresh not because of how many times Kokichi’s blood would spill, but rather of how many times they would ignore it, either out of anger or lack of care or simply because they always felt like there are more important things, that Kokichi ---  _ this _ Kokichi, the one who would smile and laugh and tease in the face of death --- must be indestructible.

 

Both Shuichi and Kaito learn how to tend to Kokichi’s wounds --- figurative and literal ones --- even if blood is not pink anymore, but crimson red, and the boy always does his best to squirm away and flee the room, never truly comfortable with their worried words and guilty stares. 

 

Both of them try to make up for their mistakes, stumbling along the way, but determined. 

 

They have the rest of their lives ahead of them to try and fail and then try again. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I wanted to explore how Kokichi is treated in the game, because while I want to see my Saioumota boys together and happy I do want them to be aware of those kinds of things and improve.
> 
> I think I've reached the moment where producing so much content is starting to be kinda exhausting, so I'll probably slow down a little. It's a lot of fun, but it requires a lot of time and energy. Also, uh, I know that all of this is pretty Ouma-centric and I apologize for that? I actually wanted to write about Shuichi and the other prompt (jealousy) for today, but I had problems with it. I'll try to finish it anyway, but after the Saioumota week is over, because I like the concept. I'm just not happy with the way I was trying to write it and need a new approach. 
> 
> And I'm kinda depressed, especially today (tfw it's your birthday and everything just kinda sucks) and it affects my writing in general, so. It's possible that it'll take me more time to fully finish this week, sorry about that.


End file.
